Sunday, March 8, 2009

It's Always Gay In Philadelphia

This is, hands down, my favorite moment of the television show, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia:
Executive: I thought you guys were taking me to dinner?
Frank: Come on…who doesn’t like to watch a naked woman swingin’ round on a pole?
Executive: A gay man, for one.
Mac: Huh?
Executive: I’m gay.
Mac: No! You’re so big and tough! You do not come across as gay.
Frank: You don’t look like a gay guy.
Dennis: That’s because he’s a bear.
Mac: Huh?
Dennis: Yeah, he’s a bear. You see some guys are twinks and others are bears. This gay guy’s a bear. By the way we’re totally okay with that. To each his own.
Frank: Wait, wait, I’m a little confused here. What’s a twink?
Dennis: Uh, a twink is small and slender, like Mac.
Mac: Whoa, no, I’m too muscular. I would be a bear.
Dennis: Ohh…don’t think so bro. Not hairy enough.
Frank: Smooth.
Frank: I would be a bear.
Dennis: Nah…see now I don’t think you’d be a bear either. As a matter of fact, I don’t know what you would be, because you’re definitely not a twink.
Frank: I’d be a top, that’s for sure!
Dennis: Maybe.
Mac: Can a twink be a top, or is that reserved for bears?
Dennis: I’m sure there’s a great deal of switching back and forth, but I think more often than not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power bottoms.
Frank: What’s a power bottom?
Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.
Dennis: Actually Mac, you’ve got it backwards. You see a power bottom’s actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.
Frank: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?
Mac: Now Dennis I’ve heard speed has something to do with it.
Dennis: Speed has everything to do with it. You see the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he’s supposed to apply. Speed’s the name of the game. Right buddy?
Brilliant. And informative.

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