Sunday, April 25, 2010

What a Delightful Saturday

It's been too long since I've been able to share weekends with my friends. Now that I have a grown-up job, things are looking up. Yesterday, I sat around the apartment for a few hours in the morning before I did some laundry. After that, I went over to Ballard to pick up one of my former co-workers so we could grab lunch. I was really in the mood for a Red Mill burger, but the line was too long for our liking. We decided on Mae's Cafe on Phinney, but they were closing in ten minutes. You can always count on the 24-hour service of Beth's Cafe, which is where we went.

We both ordered a six-egg omelet and a cup of coffee. Surprisingly, the music selection was quite good. Imagine what you listened to in the mid to late 90's. Also, I'm pretty sure I witnessed a short and slim Asian teen eat a twelve egg omelet all by himself, including the hash browns. Even I couldn't do that when I tried years ago!

After eating we drove up to Third Place Books to get my last pay stub, and she picked up some books. My former co-workers bombarded me with questions regarding my new job: "How's the new job?" "What do you do, exactly?" "Do you miss us yet?" Good. Simple, yet complex stuff. A little.

Then we went to Golden Gardens in Ballard. If I've ever been there before now, it was when I was a small boy. The weather was perfect, aside from the heavy winds. We couldn't help but melt at the sight of the little ducklings and their sleeping mama. I also found a stick that looked like a laser-gun from Star Wars. So, I decided to run around and pretend I was a Storm Trooper. Nerdy, I know. Coincidentally, there was a woman there with a Tie Fighter kite.

After we left Golden Gardens, I took her back home, and then drove back to Capitol Hill to pick up my phone charger, which was another thing I had forgot to bring with me. My phone died upon arrival. I killed some time on the internet, then drove over to pick up a replacement cable modem, and then up to Northgate to hang out with my friend, Kristin. We hung out her house's loft, where we discussed music and two art pieces that her fiancee purchased for her recently. We decided to go to the 10:30 Daft Punk Laser Show at the Pacific Science Center. Again, it was amazing. I drove her back home, and then back to Fremont for the night.

Saturdays and friends, I love you.

This Is Going to Be a Long Two Weeks

I've been tasked with watching over my friends' apartment and two (devil) cats while they are on vacation in Egypt for the next two weeks. There were too many perks to not take the job: Xbox, Netflix, cable television, high-speed internet, and access to a car. However, the two felines are determined to cause my stress and anger levels to spike and send me into a murderous rampage.

I've been here since Thursday evening, and so far they have: knocked over the trash can, spilling trash all over the kitchen floor; knocked over the vase with water and flowers on the kitchen table, thus spilling both its contents all over the table and floor; nearly broken three martini glasses after getting into the cupboard above the refrigerator; gotten into the lower kitchen cupboards and eaten gelatin and Swiss Miss packets. I can't wait to see what they have in store for me next.

On top of all that, their automated cat box--the worst investment ever, in my humble opinion--sounds like an incredibly loud document shredder, and it goes on and on and on and on. I had to unplug it after it went on for an hour straight. Note: there was absolutely nothing in the cat box at that time.

I'm also tasked with watering their arrangement of plants. As I was about to water the plants on top of their entertainment center, I told my visiting friends, "they shouldn't have their cable modem and wireless router up here near the plants. That's just an accident waiting to happen." Not a minute went by when I accidentally poured a little water on a leaf; it rolled off right into the vents of the cable modem. Singe. Fuck! The cable modem (which run about $50) was dead. Lucky for me (and my sanity), a friend's fiancee had a spare modem lying around, so I was able to get one from him. Thanks, Eric!

Then began the communications with Comcast and getting the new modem registered. Everything worked out great until they needed me to confirm my friend's driver's license number. She's in Egypt, so I won't be getting that information anytime soon. The tech support guy told me that everything was good to go, and just call back when I have that information. So, I started wondering where she might have the information written down. I looked at her checkbook: no luck. Then I spotted her purse by her dresser. I saw her wallet. It was in there! Score! I called back, confirmed the number, it got switched on, and I bummed around on the couch watching Air Force One. At the same time, the cats went into the other room and slept. Finally, peace.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Oh, the Things One Finds at Half Price Books

This seems like a joke (and maybe it is), but it's still funny nonetheless. I was at Half Price Books earlier--selling books, not buying them--and I came across a folded up note on top of some books in the True Crime section. It was a checklist of things; some were crossed out, others were not. The italics are mine.

Clean House <---First Time.
Shower <---Really?


Straighten House <---Second Time.
Shower <---Oh, come on!
Ashley Present? <---Give...
Ashley <---...and you shall receive.


Clean House <---Rockstar!
  • Movie
  • Condoms
  • Books
  • Games
  • Candles
  • Tampons <---Fail.
  • Candles
  • Wine?
  • Breakfasts (Snacks?)
  • P-towels
  • G-bags
  • Tampons <---Double fail.
Drop Henry

Monday, April 19, 2010

What Does a $30 Million Yacht Look Like Inside?

Like this (oh, and, holy fucking shit):

Via Towleroad.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

There Is No God; Or, How Religion(s) Destroy Humanity

Yep. I said it. There is no God. The only place where God exists is inside your head. It's an idea. A false sense of security; it supposedly protects you from the woes and worries of life. You think He's there, and that from time to time he answers your prayers. But He's not, because He doesn't exist.

Nearly three years ago I became friends with a rather young, gay male. In the time I have known him he has matured into a very bright and ambitious guy; he was admitted to Cornish College of the Arts, he fell in love with the man of his dreams, and he proclaimed, incessantly, that he had everything. On Thursday, I noticed that he was posting cryptic Facebook status updates: " making the biggest decisions of his life." The first thought I have is "oh no, he's considering marriage or something serious like that." He is young, and although it's not my life to live, I wouldn't want him to settle down at 19 years old.

I texted him to find out what was going on, and I was, much to my dismay, given this response:
"I broke up with Dylan and Im leaving Seattle to go live with my family in Arizona because I strongly feel that this is what God wants me to do."

"Im packed up, withdrawn from school and waiting for my ride. I know this is INSANE but its whats best for me."

"I cant keep lying to myself, acting like Gods ok with my decisions when i know hes not. Im tired of hiding from Him!"
There were more text messages after those, but the point is there. Religion stole my friend from me. It's nothing but lies. Why do people so easily fall into the trap of illusion? I didn't even get to say goodbye. And now, I've lost another person dear to me. Is God punishing me? No. Shit happens. There's nothing left to do but accept it.

If You're Asked to Sign a Petition for I-1068... should really sign it.

Review of Vessel, Part Two

My first review is here. And now my second review: I still thoroughly enjoyed the drinks, atmosphere, and service. Although, to be fair, I was in good company, and I'm sure that helped. I started with a libation called "Captain Handsome" (pictured left). It's gin, creme de violette, limoncello, lime juice, and absinthe; it is also carbonated.

All the ingredients, save the absinthe, were put into a large plastic tube, sealed shut, injected with CO2 for the carbonation, and then shaken to perfection. The bartender then took out a chilled glass, and sprayed the inside of it with absinthe while at the same time lighting it on fire. Pour the drink in the glass, give it a brandy cherry, and enjoy!

It had a dark gray color to it; smelled like black licorice, and tasted like lemon. It was delicious.

We had other drinks, but they were bartender's choice, so I couldn't tell you what they were. By the end of the night, we had about five to six drinks. If you want top quality, check out Vessel. [$$$].

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Theater Review: Paradise Lost

On Tuesday, I was surprised with an outing to Intiman Theatre's production of the Clifford Odets play, Paradise Lost. Thanks, Tino! It's debatable whether or not one's experience of the arts--in this case, theater--is more or less enjoyable with knowledge of the plot/story. In my case, the experience was constantly evolving, as I had to listen and focus on all the elements as these happened on stage.

It's the story of a well-off family during the Great Depression, and the tragedies that befall them all. (Then again, don't most plays follow that formula?) It questions the lengths that we will go to in order to survive during a time of struggle. Leo's company is losing money, and his employees are demanding better pay. He wants to give it to them; his business partner would rather hire someone to burn down the shop and claim the insurance money. Leo won't do it. In the end, the only thing that has not been lost is their integrity.

For me, the entire performance was carried by the impeccable acting by Bradley Goodwill, who played the role of Leo's business partner, Sam Katz. There was never a moment where I felt he was merely reciting lines; every delivered line felt authentic. Michael Mantell played the role of Leo just as well. The character made me question my own political motives with the line, "I don't vote because I came to realize that both sides were just as bad." Here, here.

Lastly, as we were returning to our seats during the first intermission, either the old man or old woman walking in front of us let out a very loud fart. Not a word was said until we sat back down. "Was it just me, or did the people in front of us just fart?" I asked. Insert laughter.

Photo taken from Intiman's Paradise Lost Play Guide.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

New Music Video: Symphonies feat. Kid Cudi by Dan Black

Some Things Will Never Change

I was walking downtown yesterday, and I crossed paths with an individual--he's not worthy of being referred to as a person--that contributed greatly to some of the shittiest moments of my life. Anyone who has intimate knowledge of my personal experience would know that I am talking about Richard Dewayne Jones. He's a crack addict, with a penchant for lying and stealing on a grand scale. I thought my seeing him once was enough, but no, he had to come back and walk into the MoneyTree branch near the bus stop where I was waiting. I couldn't help but think, "who is the lucky victim of check fraud today?"

Lady Gaga Vs. Cubby

I'll admit it, this guy has better dance moves than I do. More power to him. I love the outfit at 2:33. Priceless.