Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Worst Movie Ever Made

That's right. I so went there. Put me on record for claiming that Leprechaun 4 : In Space is the worst movie ever made. Think about the money that went into making this utter piece of cinematic crap. Don't get me wrong, there are scenes in the movie that are so horrific (not in an actual "horror" sense) that one cannot help but reference them during the most mundane of times.

What's that you say? You haven't seen Leprechaun 4 : In Space? You didn't even know that they made four Leprechaun movies? Well, guess what...they did! Yep. Not only did they make this heap of garbage, but they made TWO MORE! Yes, you heard me correctly. This film franchise managed to earn enough revenue to have men (and/or women) sit down and say things like: "we can't let a good thing die!", "we're making cinematic history here, we can't stop with just four underrated films", etc.

Here is the list of Leprechaun movies:

1. Leprechaun
2. Leprechaun II
3. Leprechaun III
4. Leprechaun IV : In Space
5. Leprechaun in the Hood
6. Leprechaun : Back 2 tha Hood

Yes! They made six movies out of a fucking little leprechaun. He's not even scary! Besides, they revealed his weakness in the first film: he has to shine shoes when presented with the opportunity. He's a fucking shoe shiner!

No one should have to suffer through this terrible movie. In fact, I didn't even get through the whole thing myself. I had to fast forward through it until it got to the entertaining, albeit cheesy, moments. To give you some satisfaction of knowing what happens in the movie, whilst at the same time preventing you from having to actually watch it, here are some of the "classic" moments from Leprechaun 4 : In Space:

-A soldier pees on the ashes of the Leprechaun. The leprechaun "sneaks" into the soldier's body through his pee stream, and the leprechaun (essentially) emerges whole back out of the soldier's urethra. Gross.

-A doctor, turned maniacal, transforms himself from "Dr. Mittenhand" into "Dr. Mitten...SPIDER". It was a very intense moment. I think I teared up a bit. (Spoiler: he turns into a fucking spider!)

-The leprechaun (for some reason) expands and get bigger and bigger, and then he gets blown out of the airlock (remember, we're in space). He then explodes. As the [few] remaining survivors watch his remains float through space, we (the by-now-disappointed audience) get to see the leprechauns single hand float around as it lowers all its fingers but the middle one. Yes! The leprechaun gave us the fucking bird! I love it.

The plots only get more absurd. The leprechaun turns into a pothead in the last two movies. It was only a matter of time. He always had such bad influences. When will he ever learn? Furthermore, when will people ever learn to leave leprechaun's gold alone? You people are responsible for the making of these movies. Stop touching the goddamn gold!

And I leave you with the trailer to Leprechaun : Back 2 tha Hood. Enjoy!

1 comment:

  1. I am seriously laughing my ass off right now!
    Oh my gawd.
    This one was thee funniest of em all.
    Oh man.
    Its depressing that ANYONE would sign onto a movie about a damn Leprechaun.
    This is too much.