The Life and Times of Amanda Huginkiss

One of the best parts about saving every piece of paper from college is that you get to enjoy it many times over whence you find it in the box that's buried in the back of your pseudo-closet.

Sophomore year of college ('04-'05) I played a game, whose title I can no longer remember, but it involved constructing a diary; the diary included a name of your choice, a determined income level, and (apparently) many smiley faces. I have no idea how to interpret this diary sheet anymore. It looks like it was fun though. Here is the diary of my character: Amanda Huginkiss; Income: $1.

[Note: this is a direct reprint of the text. Please excuse the improper grammar.]

"My parents feed me organic food. I'm ugly. A drunken parent beat the shit out of me. I got kissed by a hot chick at the movies. Got caught stealing. Had a chance to f**k, but remained abstinent. Probably because I got spiritual the next day! I tried Heroin. It made me happy, but I pissed blood the next day. I tried coke, got f**ked up, but then it was f**king amazing. And I found $10 in my coat pocket. I got a killer job. I'm f**king rich. A corporate suit. I get married to an awesome guy. But where the f**k was he when I got mugged! I got really happy, then I got disabled! WTF! I had sex for the first time, and it totally perked me up and lifted my spirits. I performed in an indie film. I think it was porn though. I was on Fear Factor and got more courage. I have common sense. I'm addicted to caffeine. I go through menopause, and sell all my clothes, but new ones! F**k yea! I got date raped. Love is a bitch! I quit my job, wrote books. I got saved by Kevin Costner when the polar ice caps melt. Damn [illegible writing]. Can't get pregnant, Lost ALL money, can't hold in my poop. Confined to a wheelchair. I die in a nursing home. But I got revived, then died again."

What a beautiful story, eh?