Wednesday, June 17, 2009

What Ever Happened To That Warning System?

Remember this thing? Oh, yes. You remember. Remember how it has never once gone below "Elevated" (yellow)? Does anyone care anymore? Clearly no one does, because we have not heard one mention of it in...I don't know how long. The only way to ever check it is to go directly to the Department of Homeland Security's website. I, myself, check it twice, daily. I want to know what color my security level is at every point of the day.

As of June 17th, the United States' government threat level is Elevated (yellow). But don't get to comfy with your security just yet. There is a separate threat level for domestic and international flights as well. Did anyone know this? I sure as hell didn't. And as of June 17th, for all domestic and international flights, the United States' threat level is High (orange). It's fucking orange! Oh my god! Stay away from airplanes! Going to the airport reduces your security by 33%.

(Let's do the math here: there are five threat levels, and two of which are never used; we now have only three threat levels. To move into a darker color would reduce your security by that 1/3, hence, 33%. Makes sense, right?)


  1. I can't comment on your twitter 'cause, well, I don't "tweet". But is the 'stache really back!?!?! Oh, I am so happy!

  2. I think the only reason domestic flights are so high...Americans and the F*CKING guns!!! Now, Mr. President, why aren't we talking about that?