With Apologies To My Manager

For weeks I have been pressuring my manager to get me a copy of Chuck Palahniuk's forthcoming book, "Pygmy". Yesterday, my lobbying paid off, and I was finally in receipt of the book I so desperately wanted to read. I got home from work, wasted a few hours doing not much of anything, and then decided to dig the book out of my bag. I quit after three pages. Mr. Palahniuk, your new book is crap, and I base that entirely on only three pages of text.

Why is it crap? Although it goes with the character, the story is told in broken English. You tell me if you can stand reading a 200+ page book that reads like this:

Story of me. Passport man bald. Fat. No look good. I break his neck real fast. Double swift kick.

Of course, those are not direct from the book, but they are similar.

In An Email I Received From My Manager Today

"She must have heard us talking about her"

Which is referencing this email:

Ooophs! Two Pygmy's - C. Palahniuk are in the mail today, got knocked out of my field of view, sorry I am late getting these to you.

I've been waiting for this book for two weeks now.