Currently Playing On Repeat

This song, despite it's lyrical content, makes me happy.

Water Fountains: The Silent Assailants

I'm no longer surprised when anyone in this country does something stupid and decides that the appropriate response is legal action. If you don't want attention for something that you did, such as falling into a water fountain in a mall because you were too preoccupied with texting someone on your phone, then I might recommend NOT going on national news to talk about the incident.

New Years Resolutions: The Twelve Month Model

I believe it was in 2009 that a friend of mine decided that she was not going to have a single New Years resolution, but rather, she would have twelve: one for each month of the year. Although, her model was based on simply giving something up for the month and then (presumably) going back to indulging in whatever habit--sugar, coffee, etc.--she had given up. In my case, I'm going to attempt in creating good habits that that I can build onto throughout the year.

Technically, I started my January resolution in the middle of December, but I've been committing myself to maintaining exceptional oral hygiene. It used to be that I would only brush my teeth once a day, and typically only if I was planning on leaving my apartment. But now I force myself to brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, floss, and rinse with mouthwash every day when I wake up, and right before I go to bed. I haven't missed a single day; it's been a successful resolution month thus far. My dentist appointment in February is going to be the best visit ever! No bleeding gums for this guy!

I have yet to decide what my February resolution will be. Some possibilities include: giving up my use of Grindr, always keeping my apartment clean, or not eating any fast food, which should be a hard rule anyway.

Book Review: "The Instructions"

Where do I even begin with this one? Well, this was yet another book that built me up only to let me come crashing down; McSweeney's has disappointed me again.

One of the latest additions to Jewish literature, The Instructions by Adam Levin, is supposed to be an epic tale about a ten year old boy named Gurion Ben-Judah Maccabee who may (or may not) be the Messiah. Apparently everything he does is viewed as revolutionary by his peers, and the adults that run the school have to contend with the mischief that they cause. It's a story of love and redemption and blah blah blah. That's what most people want you to believe. Let me tell you what this book is really about:

A bunch of sane, albeit punk and troublesome, kids decide that they hate having to live by the rules that come with growing up and going to school, and thus, they decide to rebel in an overtly violent manner. They view their having to follow rules as oppression against all of the Israelites--no one is Jewish in the novel. These are the kind of kids that you would slap in the face after they mouth off to you because they think it's cool to rebel for its own sake.

In addition to the extremely flat and greatly exaggerated plot, the writing was nothing short of a constant rape of the English language. I shit you not, this is an actual sentence from the book:

"'Bet what would didn't,' Leevon didn't but seemed to."

Um...what? The only thing that kept me reading through to the end was the constant foreshadowing of something horrific happening. As I found out after 900 pages, the only thing that happens is that these punk kids attack innocent teachers and students at random during a school assembly with makeshift pennyguns: cut off the top of a water bottle, insert a balloon through it, put a coin in the balloon, pull it back, and fire.

McSweeneys, Levin, get over yourselves.

"Did You Read?"

It's eerie how similar this is to the conversations that I typically start with my friends. Also, I own that same red hoodie!

And Seven Months Later...

...I make my return! That's right. After I lost my free internet privileges I was forced to live in a cave without Internet access. That was back in June. But now I'm back! I have several things about which to write: books, films, music, my marathon training, political news, etc., but I'm going to need some time to get them all written out. Please bear with me, and stay tuned!