With Apologies To My Manager

For weeks I have been pressuring my manager to get me a copy of Chuck Palahniuk's forthcoming book, "Pygmy". Yesterday, my lobbying paid off, and I was finally in receipt of the book I so desperately wanted to read. I got home from work, wasted a few hours doing not much of anything, and then decided to dig the book out of my bag. I quit after three pages. Mr. Palahniuk, your new book is crap, and I base that entirely on only three pages of text.

Why is it crap? Although it goes with the character, the story is told in broken English. You tell me if you can stand reading a 200+ page book that reads like this:

Story of me. Passport man bald. Fat. No look good. I break his neck real fast. Double swift kick.

Of course, those are not direct from the book, but they are similar.

In An Email I Received From My Manager Today

"She must have heard us talking about her"

Which is referencing this email:

Ooophs! Two Pygmy's - C. Palahniuk are in the mail today, got knocked out of my field of view, sorry I am late getting these to you.

I've been waiting for this book for two weeks now.

Palahniuk, Please Don't Disappoint Again

Cult novelist Chuck Palahniuk has been working hard, maybe too hard, and he has a new book coming out on May 5th: "Pygmy".

Here is what DoubleDay (Random House) has to say about it:

The Manchurian Candidate meets South Park—Chuck Palahniuk’s finest novel since the generation-defining Fight Club.

“Begins here first account of operative me, agent number 67 on arrival Midwestern American airport greater _____ area. Flight _____. Date _____. Priority mission top success to complete. Code name: Operation Havoc.”

Thus speaks Pygmy, one of a handful of young adults from a totalitarian state sent to the United States, disguised as exchange students, to live with typical American families and blend in, all the while planning an unspecified act of massive terrorism. Palahniuk depicts Midwestern life through the eyes of this thoroughly indoctrinated little killer, who hates us with a passion, in this cunning double-edged satire of an American xenophobia that might, in fact, be completely justified. For Pygmy and his fellow operatives are cooking up something big, something truly awful, that will bring this big dumb country and its fat dumb inhabitants to their knees.

It’s a comedy. And a romance.

I hope this is at least something enjoyable to read. In a conversation with my manager, some time ago, he casually asked me how I liked Palahniuk's last book...and the one before that...and the one before that...and so on and so forth. My answer's were all similar, if not the same: "It was all right". I guess I am one of those people who can't help but read any and all books published by a particular author, even if they are pure dribble. Chuck Palahniuk is that guy (for me). I've been expecting the Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) for a week now (and counting). I will post a review as soon as I, 1.) get my hands on the ARC, and 2.) read it.