The Best iPhone App Ever Created

I thought this app topped them all--no pun intended; but I was wrong. I was dead wrong. Last week I discovered the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" random quotation app. Click on any of their faces and you get a sweet dose of IASIP. This is guaranteed to put a smile on my face anytime I have a bad day. The best part: it's free!

"Kitten mittens. You'll be smitten. So come on down to Paddy's Pub. We're the home of the original kitten mittens. Meeeoooow."

"Well, I could put the trash into a landfill, where it's going to stay for millions of years, or I could burn it up, and get a nice smokey smell in here, and let that smoke go into the sky where it turns into stars."

"How about a can of wine?"

Okay, those were all from Charlie; but come on, he's the wild card, bitches!

...And I Knock On Her Door, And I Say, 'Carol!!! Carol!!!'...

It's Always Gay In Philadelphia

This is, hands down, my favorite moment of the television show, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia:

Executive: I thought you guys were taking me to dinner?
Frank: Come on…who doesn’t like to watch a naked woman swingin’ round on a pole?
Executive: A gay man, for one.
Mac: Huh?
Executive: I’m gay.
Mac: No! You’re so big and tough! You do not come across as gay.
Frank: You don’t look like a gay guy.
Dennis: That’s because he’s a bear.
Mac: Huh?
Dennis: Yeah, he’s a bear. You see some guys are twinks and others are bears. This gay guy’s a bear. By the way we’re totally okay with that. To each his own.
Frank: Wait, wait, I’m a little confused here. What’s a twink?
Dennis: Uh, a twink is small and slender, like Mac.
Mac: Whoa, no, I’m too muscular. I would be a bear.
Dennis: Ohh…don’t think so bro. Not hairy enough.
Frank: Smooth.
Frank: I would be a bear.
Dennis: Nah…see now I don’t think you’d be a bear either. As a matter of fact, I don’t know what you would be, because you’re definitely not a twink.
Frank: I’d be a top, that’s for sure!
Dennis: Maybe.
Mac: Can a twink be a top, or is that reserved for bears?
Dennis: I’m sure there’s a great deal of switching back and forth, but I think more often than not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power bottoms.
Frank: What’s a power bottom?
Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.
Dennis: Actually Mac, you’ve got it backwards. You see a power bottom’s actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.
Frank: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?
Mac: Now Dennis I’ve heard speed has something to do with it.
Dennis: Speed has everything to do with it. You see the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he’s supposed to apply. Speed’s the name of the game. Right buddy?

Brilliant. And informative.